Self-hatred

Since I started this blog -- about three weeks ago -- I have been inundated with emails, calls, and text messages from wonderful, caring, concerned friends and family.  The overwhelming reaction to my operose journey has been one of concern due to my obvious self-hatred.  Huh?  Let me be clear, I don’t hate myself… seriously!  I know from time to time, I use self-deprecating humor.  This is because I am delusional and think I am a comedian.  This journey is not about self-hatred.  It’s about loving myself enough to allow myself to reach my full potential.  I don’t want to be skinny.  I want to be strong.  I don’t want to be mediocre.  I want to be disciplined.  I want to see if I have enough self-discipline to last one year depriving myself of Little Debbie snack cakes and other junk.  I thought I had the mental toughness to have a baby naturally… boy was I mistaken!  Now I want to see if I have enough mental toughness to survive this year. “Why… what’s the point?”  The point is discipline builds character.  Can’t everyone benefit from an exercise in character building?  Do I have enough discipline to do this, to make it a year?  I don’t know, but I am willing to see.  I sincerely appreciate the concern and am thankful to have all of you as my cheering section on this journey!