A wash...

Last week was a wash.  I didn't work out at all, and I barely ate.  I also missed a couple events that were important to me.  I ended up catching an upper respiratory infection that kicked my booty.  I don't remember being that sick since I had my fourth bout of mastitis when my son was an infant. The joys of breastfeeding that no one ever mentions, because it is far too painful to speak of.  I digress.  

It's funny how when you're physically ill, it begins to take it toll on you mentally.  I ended up throwing myself a giant pity party last week.  No fun in the sun for me.  I was sad; I guess I am still a little sad.  I have 55 days left in my flab to fab challenge, and all I am feeling is flab.  It's not just the challenge though, it is a myriad of other things too.

My husband and I long ago moved away from our families.  I do realize that was our choice.  Our nearest relatives are in North Carolina and Tennessee, both an eight hour drive from here.  When I was sick last week, I didn't have anyone to call in as back up.  And I desperately needed back up.  All of our friends have jobs, and Terry is on loan to another division at work, so he can't take time off.  It all felt very unfair and lonely.

Lonely is a feeling I'm becoming far too familiar with these days.  I think that's a symptom of being a stay-at-home mom.  Brady's a joy, but his conversation skills are still developing.  I miss day-to-day interaction with adults.  I belong to groups, Brady and I go out and about daily, but it's not the same and I don't know how to fix it.  I love spending each day with my son and I wouldn't give up being a stay-at-home mom for anything.  I guess I just need to find a hobby before I drive my sweet husband crazy.    

By the way, I am not writing this for sympathy.  I know my life is blessed, and I really have nothing to complain about.  I am just writing it because sometimes writing makes me feel better.  It sort of heals my heart and helps me move past what's bothering me.  This too shall pass.